Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
