You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
smell my finger.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I need a burrito and a hug.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
