sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
