I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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