Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
how does that bad decision feel?
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