ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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