What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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