Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
