Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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