k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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