I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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