yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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