Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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