Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
there is puke in my bra ... again
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