just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
