the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
