I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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