Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
