i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
