Is it normal to miss your booty call?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize