Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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