I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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