They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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