We won't sleep together?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
