Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
