I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
