That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
