btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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