you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
