I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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