I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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