Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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