God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So vagazzling was a success
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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