Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
