Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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