Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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