He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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