Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
