he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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