A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
