Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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