I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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