You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize