I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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