are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
