I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
