I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize