Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
