if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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