I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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