I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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