There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
