Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
