After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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