its not stalking. its research.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
