I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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