I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize