Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize