Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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