Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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