I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
