Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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