I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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