Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
