If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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