What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
