Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
