that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize